2022 Field Trip Notes no.1
9月30日，天氣晴
當人類遇到無法解釋，恐懼未知時，廟宇提供你一種安定的力量，台灣非常多的女性神明，在不同行業裡給予人性的光明面與力量。
台南是全台灣廟宇分佈最多的地方，也在我記憶中很多回憶都跟廟宇信仰有關。
10月1日我們來到了已有300年歷史的公廟『開隆宮』，會來這邊是因為全台灣僅有台南子女才有的成年禮儀式『鑽桌腳』，儀式結束後可以收到很多親戚們的禮物，這些禮物都是媽媽那邊的家人贈予的。但也不是所有小孩都可以做成年禮，只有家中的長子、長女才能有這個儀式，像我的二哥就沒有這個儀式。在仍舊重男輕女的世代，這那一刻有板回一點女性的地位感受，但很快的替二哥無法有這樣的待遇也感到不好意思。
這回再次重返透過廟婆的解說才明白原來這個儀式是在感謝從懷孕到孩子成人都受七娘媽（七星娘娘）守護，是護佑孩童平安長大的神明。廟裡除了七娘媽，還有求懷孕的駐生娘娘以及保佑孕婦順利生產的臨水夫人，我自己懷孕要生產前，也有來廟裡求平安拜拜。廟婆說：七娘媽就是古代的醫生，雖然現在科技發達，來廟裡『心誠則靈』。
God Mother
Conceive - Pregnant - Birth - Child growing up
September 30, sunny day
When human beings encounter the unexplainable and fear of the unknown, temples provide you with a kind of stable power. There are many female gods in Taiwan, giving humanity a bright side and strength.
Tainan my hometowm is the place with the most temples in Taiwan, and many of my memorable memories are related to temple beliefs.
We came to the 300-year-old Temple called “Kailong temple", which is located in the center of Tainan city and is very tiny. Soon we met an elder called temple lady, she explained the history of the temple in minnan language(閩南語). Here I had my 16 coming-of-age ceremony "Drilling the Table Leg" is only available to Tainan children in Taiwan. But not all children can do the ceremony, only the eldest son and eldest daughter in the family can have this ceremony, like my second brother does not have this ceremony. In my generation that still favors boys over girls, at that moment, I felt a bit of a woman's status, but soon I felt embarrassed that my second brother couldn't be treated like this.
Qixingma is the god who protects the child from growing up safely. In the temple, apart from Qixingma, there are also the child birth godmother who wishes to conceive and Mrs. Linshui who blesses pregnant women to give birth smoothly. Before I was pregnant and about to give birth, I also came to the temple to pray for safety. The temple lady said: Qixingma is an ancient doctor. Although the technology is advanced now, come to temple and hold on to your faith, and things will go your way.
晚間Scarelt與我一起訪問了我爸爸，他說了許多我也從未聽過的話。他說：當時結婚以後不受孕，感覺會很奇怪，好像結婚就一定會生孩子一樣，完全沒有考慮過生不生的問題。（這在我聽來有點小不舒服，可能因為我覺得自己不是被期待而來的。）他又說：以前孩子生多，很多都是因為要生到男生為止，還有重男輕女的觀念，像現在孩子要冠父姓還是冠母姓都可以了。我對他說：因為母親工作時間作息不同，對我來說，父親在我小時候基本上是擔任母職的角色，印象最深刻的是有一次，我到學鋼琴的教室，放眼望去都是媽媽們陪小孩上課只有我一個人是爸爸陪，當時還不明白為何我會如此驚訝。爸爸回：我覺得只要把孩子照顧好，誰有空就誰來照顧。
我問：爺爺是養子，那你有想過自己的血緣問題嗎？你怎麼看待這件事情？他說：曾經跟大哥有想去找自己的原生家族，但後來想想作罷，養育之恩最大，養父母比生父母還要親。現在在郊區生活的他説：我種樹，夏天真的很涼，植物對生態很有幫助。我身旁也有很多隻狗，狗對主人最衷心，尤其是流浪狗。（和小梅老師、阿璞、Making kin not babies）
Parenthood Family Tree
Scarlet visited my dad with me in the evening suburb of Tainan and he said many things that I had never heard. I remember he said: At that time, it felt strange to be infertile after getting married, as if you would definitely have a baby after getting married, and you didn't think about whether you would have a baby or not. This sounds a little uncomfortable to me, maybe because I feel that I am not expected to come to the world. He also said: In the past, many children were born, and many of them were because they had to be born until boys, and there was still a patriarchal concept. Like now, it doesn't matter if the child has to bear the father's surname or the mother's surname. I said to him: Because my mother has different working hours and rest schedules, for me, my father basically played the role of mother when I was a child. I remember in Piano Studio, mothers accompanied their children to class, and only I was accompanied by my father. At that time, I didn't understand why I was so surprised. Dad replied: I think as long as you take good care of the children, whoever is free can take care of them.
I asked: Grandpa is an adopted son, have you ever thought about your blood relationship? How do you know about this? He said: I used to think about finding my original family with my elder brother, but then I thought of giving up. The kindness of nurturing is the greatest. Now living in the suburbs, he said: I plant trees. It is really cool in summer, and plants are very helpful to the ecology. There are many dogs beside me. Dogs are the most caring towards their owners, especially stray dogs.
隔天10月2日我們訪問了在基因檢測公司上班的嫂嫂秀如， 也談論了他在生活中扮演各種角色身份的感想。他分享著：DNA檢測公司這份工作是與孕婦媽媽或家人第一個接觸的人並為他們做諮詢。胚胎在分裂過程中，有很多異常的基因一半來自媽媽也可能一半來自爸爸，但多數媽媽都還是會怪自己。他也說：有媽媽認為我什麼錢都花就是要孩子正常，我會跟他說沒辦法，若家族沒有遺傳確診基因，我們沒辦法從羊水驗出，要有確診基因才能檢測，要不然就會像海底撈針一樣。檢測異常就拿掉，以後的數據只會越來越少，未來可能無法證實後續是否真正的正常或異常。(也許可以跟烏醫師談到少子化危機背後的國家主義意識一起討論？)
身為三個孩子的媽媽的他，是在生完孩子後才投入這份工作，他在生產期間沒有做過什麼檢測，如今回想真的是很幸運孩子們都很健康。
然而，隨著基因技術的進步，似乎出現了一系列與基因檢測相關的倫理問題，如基因歧視的道德爭議、基因檢測中的知情權和隱私權等，孩子的出生似乎也成為個人利益的考量。
